Don't Let Me Go
by SillverFeather
Summary: Time heals. It'll be alright. He loved you very much. Empty promises and words of condolences. But they didn't know. They didn't understand that Yuri Plisetsky had utterly messed up this time. (Features Otayuri !)
1. Chapter 1

**_Time heals. It'll be okay. He loved you very much._ Empty promises and words of condolences. But they didn't know. They didn't understand that Yuri had utterly messed up this time.**

Yuri Plisetsky had been watching Viktor's duet with Yuuri on the old television his grandpa owned for the fifth time. Viktor seemed happier than he had ever been, on ice with Yuuri, who looked as if he was still processing the fact that they were on the same ice.

"Isn't that Viktor and Yuuri's duet? They seem pretty synchronized." his grandpa said, laying a hand on the couch.

Yuri almost snorted. Synchronized was an understatement. Basically everything was an understatement for their performance; though Yuri hated to admit it, their duet was more than flawless.

"You know, Yuratchka, it would do you good to make some friends, maybe find a girlfriend." his grandpa paused, hesitating before saying, "You've distanced yourself from everyone ever since your mother-"

"Stop. Don't ever mention her." Yuri whispered.

"She loved you Yuri. She really did. She just had no choice."

"Don't. You haven't mentioned her after all these years. Don't start now."

He kept pressing on, but Yuri knew better. His mom had deserted them when he was young. What type of person would leave a kid. Screw choices. Everyone has a choice. Her choice was to leave them. Leave Yuri.

"I SAID DON'T," Yuri yelled. His grandpa just stared at him, a faint frown tugging at the corner of his lips. Yuri angled his face away from him. "I'm heading out. The Grand Prix skaters are all meeting up one last time before we part ways."

He hurried towards the door, desperate to escape the silence and his grandfather's heavy disapproval.

"Yuratchka." his grandpa sighed, the word a lament.

Yuri slammed the door.

* * *

Yuri couldn't get the words out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. _She loved you Yuri. She really did._ He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth.

"You okay? Yuri. Yuri I'm talking to you."

Yuri opened his eyes to see Chris peeking from the side.

"Come on, don't you want a drink or something?" he teased. Yuri raised an eyebrow. As a matter of fact… "One wouldn't hurt.", he grumbled.

Chris' smile grew larger. "Yuri wants a drink? Well, I suppose there's a first time for everything." he exclaimed as the others turned to face them. Yuri slid down his chair.

"Only one." he growled. Chris smirked and muttered, "For now." as he passed a glass to Yuri. Over to his left, Otabek lightly scowled as he watched Yuri down the entire cup. And two more.

He felt lightheaded. What grandpa, what mother? He should have started drinking earlier. Yuri gripped the table as he laughed at some joke Viktor made. A giggle was still on his lips when a hand gripped his shoulder. Hard.

"You're coming with me. You shouldn't even be drinking."

Yuri looked up to find Otabek frowning at him. "No thanks, I'll stay." Yuri replied, turning back around.

"That wasn't a question. You're leaving."

"You should try a drink. Maybe it'll loosen you up a little."

Otabek sighed and dragged Yuri out of his chair.

"Chris, why'd you even offer him a drink? He's only **fifteen** for god's sake."

"I can take care of myself perfectly, thank you very much." Yuri said, jabbing Otabek out of the way. He stood up and leaned heavily towards the table. Otabek gave a half hearted laugh and pulled Yuri straight up, just as his phone rang.

"Hello? Yeah, of course it's me Yakov. Who do you think would pick up YURI'S phone other than me.", he said into the phone as Otabek and Pichit exchanged an exasperated look at Yuri's drunken state.

"What? Shit. I'll-I'll be right there." Yuri's face went slack and his phone dropped on the ground.

"Yuri, what's going on?" Otabek questioned as Yuri stumbled outside.

"Beka, where's your damn motorcycle?" Yuri made out.

Otabek raised his eyebrows at the nickname but threw a helmet to Yuri as they both got on. "My grandpa's in the hospital, something about a stroke. Can you get us to the nearest one?" Yuri said hurriedly as Otabek cursed and sped up.

* * *

 **Yuri refused to go into the room, to see his grandpa's body on the hospital bed. Instead, he sat in the waiting room, thinking how in the world he screwed up so badly.** ** _I should have been there. If I had, he might have gotten here in time for them to help._** **Yuri unclenched his fists and dropped his head in his hands.**

"Y-Yuri," Otabek said, hesitatingly reaching an arm out around the younger boy. Yuri slithered out of his grasp. "Leave me alone.", he said, shaking his head.

Otabek grimaced at his tone and got up, "I just thought you'd want to go home. Maybe find Viktor and Yuuri or something."

"It's fine," _No it wasn't._ "I'll wait here for Yakov to pick me up."

"You know, it's okay to not be fine." Otabek replied, his gaze softening a fraction as he looked down. He knelt and faced Yuri, brushing a stray hair from his face. "You don't have to keep the Russian punk persona here. It's just me."

Yuri rolled his eyes and said, "That wasn't an act. And I'm fi-fine. Yakov is coming any minute. You can go ride your motorcycle around town or join Chris and the others. Don't let me stop you." Yuri hated himself for letting his voice crack. He hated himself more for saying that when he had really meant the opposite.

Otabek sighed as his eyes flickered and met the bright green ones. "I'm here if you want to talk." he said, getting up on his feet and heading away. "By the way, you left your phone at the restaurant. Catch."

Yuri missed and it fell on the floor. He wanted to call Otabek back, wanted to tell him everything. He began to yell his name. It died on his lips and Yuri faltered as he watched Otabek get on his motorcycle outside and start the engine. He never looked back.

* * *

Yuri was tired. Tired of trying to remain emotionless, of schooling his face into a look of neutrality when he felt like bursting into tears. He wanted to flop onto his bed and let it all out. Except he couldn't. Yakov was still driving back to Viktur and Yuuri's apartment, where he would be staying since his grandpa had- _stop it Yuri_ he chided himself.

Finally. They were there. Yuri was sick of Yakov's hollow condolences. He meant well, but it didn't help.

Yakov parked the car in front of their apartment and said roughly, "Well Yuri, I'm not going to be getting off. Take care of yourself, it'll be fine." Yuri muttered a noncommittal goodbye and left the car, only to find himself enveloped in a gigantic hug with Viktor.

To his surprise, Yuri found himself leaning into the embrace, before quickly pushing away and brushing his jacket. "Yurio, are you okay?" Viktor asked, tilting his head and studying him. Yuri met his gaze then flitted his eyes onto the ground.

"I'm fine." he muttered. Viktor's mouth pulled into a small frown. "It's going to be fine. You'll be okay." he said.

"So they keep telling me." Yuri replied, letting his hair fall into his face. He was fed up with their words, at their attempts to comfort him. Of their vacant promises that everything was going to be all right. They didn't understand that everything was because of him. So instead, he stalked into their apartment and went into the first empty room he found.

Lying down onto the soft blankets, he clenched his fists and buried his face into the cloth. For the first time today, Yuri Plisetsky let the warm tears run unchecked across his cheeks.

 **~Thanks for Reading! If you want me to continue another chapter, please leave a review or follow so I know! Thanks again :) BTW, definitely gonna be more Otayuri in the next few chapters, so check back if you want more!~**


	2. Chapter 2

**The air seemed as if it were choking Yuri. He leaned against the wall, his fingers grasping for anything in reach, latching onto the edge of the bed. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. It was during times like this, in the middle of the night, that he found it hard to breath.**

 _"Yuri Plisetsky had the unforgettable eyes of a soldier."_ The words now mocked him in his head.

 _Oh if you could only see me now, Otabek,_ Yuri laughed drily. He tried to take a deep breath, slow the thoughts running through his mind, stop the tears he knew were coming. After a few tries, he just stopped. Gave up. He couldn't stand it anymore. Pushing open the door to his room, he half walked, half ran out of Viktor and Yuuri's apartment. It seemed he couldn't get out of the building fast enough.

* * *

Yuri bends over, his hands on his knees. He pauses and when he doesn't get sick, he resumes his run. He runs like hell, trying to escape Viktor's apartment. Maybe if he runs fast enough, hard enough, he could leave all this behind. All the trapped words and pressure in his chest. He runs harder, faster, until his lungs feel like exploding. He can't stop, as if running is the only reminder he has that he's alive.

The cold air bites his bare arms, Yuri doesn't care. He keeps on sprinting.

* * *

He doesn't hear the motorcycle come to a stop behind him. He's panting too hard. Yuri slams his hands against his thighs and holds on tight, retching empty air. No surprise considering he hasn't eaten for god knows how long.

"Crap. Yuri, how long have you been here?" Otabek asks, his eyes sweeping over Yuri's tangled, soaked hair, tear stained cheeks, then hardening when they focus on his arms, on the scratches and scrapes.

Yuri opens his eyes and glances around to find Otabek staring back at him. He didn't know how he ended up here. He takes a sharp breath, sucking in the air that carried a hint of dampness and lacked the heavy pollution of cars and day traffic. Yuri winces as he registers the cold air on his arms. Otabek, not missing a beat, tosses his own jacket to him.

"I don't need your help. I'm strong enough to take care of myself." Yuri rasped.

"You know, accepting help doesn't mean you're weak. Just… let someone else help you for once." Otabek sighs.

"Um, thanks." Yuri said, not sure how to express gratitude to the older man.

Otabek doesn't answer, instead offering his hand and pulls Yuri up. "Why aren't you at home?" he asks. Yuri pauses. "It's not my home." he replied. Otabek rolls his eyes.

"You're impossible, you know." Otabek muttered. Yuri didn't respond.

"Fine. Why weren't you with Viktor and Yuuri?"

"I couldn't breathe." Yuri said simply.

Otabek scoffed. "Do you even know where you are? This street is at least four miles away from their apartment. And.. you just ran here? Without stopping?"

Yuri shrugged.

Otabek whistled and glanced at Yuri, meeting his blue-green eyes. "You're coming with me." he decided and pulled Yuri towards his motorcycle.

* * *

Yuri Plisetsky tightened his grip on the white mug Otabek had shoved into his hands a few minutes ago. He felt strangely alive and full of energy, though his body was still shivering under the huge stack of thick wool blankets Otabek had piled him under. Looking around, he saw that there were barely any furniture or personal belongings lying around his apartment. _Did Otabek even live here?_

Otabek cleared his throat, drawing Yuri's attention back to him. His face held a faint scowl as he stared at Yuri. "What, exactly were you doing outside at that time?" he asked.

"I couldn't breathe." Yuri repeated.

Otabek tilted his head and studied him. Yuri realized that he was waiting for an explanation.

He hesitated. It would be so much easier, to just snap back at him, to close himself off like he had always done. Everyone had their ways of dealing with troubles. Viktor joked around. Yuuri skated. Yuri yelled. He distanced himself from others.

Then, he remembered Otabek's words. "You don't have to keep up the Russian punk persona here. It's just me." There had been no pity in his words, something Yuri had always despised. It was as if he knew what Yuri was feeling.

What had it been called? A leap of chance? or was it faith?

 _Otabek understood,_ he realized. So Yuri took a deep breath, and _**leapt.**_

 _ **~Thanks for reading! If you want more, please leave a review or favorite this so I know what to improve on. Check back because Chapter 3 is probably going to feature Otabek and Yuri's background, their past, childhood, parents, etc. Sorry this chapter was a little short, I promise I'll make longer ones!~**_


	3. Chapter 3

"My mother was somewhat of a famous figure. She was a mediocre singer and was talented in acting. She had been an actress that performed as side characters and starred in a couple of small plays. Nevertheless, no matter how many roles she performed in, she was never a very good mother." Yuri said, his eyes focusing on the carpet.

"When I was born, my grandpa moved in with us to take care of me while she would attend parties and clubs. My father was never home either. On one rare occasion, both my mother and father were home. When I had returned from school, I found them in an argument. My mother had been in a bad mood the past few months. She had been unhappy, always been driven with the possibility that she could be _more_. More rich, more successful, more renowned. She was never satisfied. That was the day my mother left, claiming that we both were just holding her back from what she could be. I was only six. She never returned."

As much as he wanted to, Yuri couldn't stop his voice from cracking and stumbling over the words. He takes a sip of the warm, slightly sweet drink still in his hands and swallows, hard. He risks a peek at Otabek and finds his piercing brown eyes looking right back at him. Yuri ducks his head a little and directs his gaze back to the floor. He resumes.

"My father was crazy for her. He loved her. And-and he didn't know what to do when she left. I don't remember the details, but I know he stayed at home for a few days, staying in his room and refusing to come out. After a week, he drove to the nearest bar and got himself drunk, then passed away after crashing his car into another. After that, my grandpa became my legal guardian and took me back to his apartment. I grew up with him, and he was always there for me, unlike my parents. He never mentioned them, not even once during my childhood, until the day he-he passed. My grandpa told me that my mother had loved me, had left me because she had no choice. But he _had_ to be wrong. You don't leave your kid, period. But he kept on pushing me, insisting that she really did love me. I snapped back at him, something I never did, not even once. His death is my fault."

Yuri broke down, setting the mug down on the table beside him and dropping his head into his hands. He didn't want to look at Otabek, didn't want to meet his eyes. He knew what he would see there. Pity. But Yuri didn't deserve any, not when he was responsible for his grandpa's death.

He felt the tears begin to slide down his cheeks and wiped them away before they fell. "Yuri, why would it be your fault that he passed?" Otabek questioned, brushing Yuri's hair away from his face.

Yuri paused, his mouth forming a small frown as he searched for an answer. "It's just- if I hadn't left, I would've been there when he had a stroke. I could've helped him get to the hospital. I should've helped." He clenched his shaking fists. "But I was too late." he whispered.

"What happened wasn't your fault. Your grandpa wouldn't want you to blame yourself over his death. You couldn't have prevented it from happening." he said. Yuri nodded hollowly and returned to stare at the floor.

Otabek sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "You know, I wasn't lying when I said we both were similar. I wasn't close with my parents too. My mother had passed away while giving birth to me, and my father was a successful businessman. He was never home much. And when he was, he would go into inexplicable rages or get drunk." Otabek's voice wandered.

"What happened to him?" Yuri asked.

"After a few years, he remarried. And a few years after that, I left. We grew apart and since he was occupied with his wife, I don't know, I just felt like an outsider."

Yuri emptily nodded again and his eyes drifted off to the floor.

"Yuri. Yuri look at me," He gripped the younger boy's elbow. Yuri's blue-green startled eyes met his. "I'm not going to say everything is fine, and I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through. Just... know that I'm here for you, Yuri. What I said at the hospital wasn't a lie." Otabek pursed his lips.

The younger boy pulls the blanket closer and nods, unspoken gratitude filling his eyes. He couldn't exactly explain the feeling, but it was as if someone had been pressing against his chest this whole time. Now, he felt lighter, the pressure relieved. He reaches for the cup on the table and takes a long sip. "Thanks," he says hoarsely, a small smile lighting up on his face. "I'll remember that."

* * *

A few minutes pass. They spend it in a comfortable silence before Otabek clears his throat. "Well, you should probably get back before the sun comes up. I take it Yuuri and Viktor don't know you left their apartment?" he asks.

"Yeah, I forgot to tell them." Yuri winces.

"I'll take you back on my motorcycle then. After all, we don't want them to worry.", Otabek says. He stands up and grabs his keys from the kitchen table.

Yuri shrugs off the layers of blankets and unwillingly follows in suit, not wanting to return back to Viktor's apartment. He catches up to Otabek and grabs his arm. "Thank you, Beka." he whispers. Otabek turns around and gives a laugh.

"It's Beka now?" he jokes, his eyes lighting up mischievously as he gazes fondly at the younger boy. Yuri rolls his eyes but says, "Really, I'm serious. Thank you." he repeats. A slight blush creeps up on Yuri's cheeks. Otabek only nods.

There's a short pause, and then Otabek suddenly finds Yuri's arms wrapped around him. His eyes widen in surprise at the movement, then he embraces him back, smiling slightly.

They stay that way for a while, Yuri leaning into the taller skater while he gripped him tightly. Letting his eyes slowly fall, Otabek faintly whispers, "We should go." Yuri nods in reply, but neither of them lets go for a long time.

* * *

 **I'm seriously sorry I haven't uploaded for two months. I've been really busy with school and extracurriculars, and honestly I just haven't had that much inspiration to** **write. I'll try to upload as soon as I can :) so check back! It would make my day if you could leave a review or like. Thanks !**


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